Will Sex Workers Rush to Silicon Valley to be Sodomized?

Concerns have been expressed that one result of the law suit against Michael Goguen of Sequoia Capital may be a glut in the availability of aspiring sex workers and entrepreneurs trying to cash in on the extravagant prices paid by senior executives in Silicon Valley for sexual services. As the news of the $10M fee received by litigant Amber Baptiste for sodomic services has spread worldwide it has resulted in many new and current sex workers announcing their intent to move to the area. Ms Babtiste is suing Mr Goguen for failure to pay the remaining $30M of her agreed upon fee of $40M.

Sex workers both self-employed and those held in slavery expressed admiration for Ms Baptiste for her lawsuit and for actually receiving the first $10M. “People all over the world get butt fucked for a dollar but Amber got 10 million! She is my hero” said one sex worker who wants to remain anonymous because she is currently an underage sex slave in a middle-eastern country.

Others expressed concern that a sudden influx of sex workers from all over the world to Silicon Valley offering to be sodomized might depress the market. “We dont want them here, they should stay home and get fucked there” said Gloria Standfast, a prominent Silicon Valley sex worker and industry advocate.

Although controversy surrounds the lawsuit everyone that this reporter talked to seemed of the opinion that Ms. Baptiste got a pretty good deal. “Lots of people get fucked up the butt by venture capitalists, but not all of them get as well paid as Ms Baptiste” said one entrepreneur at the Game Developer Conference.

“This is the kind of behavior that made America great and it shows how the free market works to help ordinary workers” said Rep Nelson Freeport (R-CA).

For more information on the relationship between Mr. Goguen and Ms. Babtiste, click here.

A Case Study Where the Free Market is Proven to Help the Poor

The following post is only for adults and those who are not free market libertarians.

I have received some criticism from a few readers who believe that I have been harsh, too harsh, on the holy free market in this blog. They say that I know very well that the free market can, in many circumstances, set prices in a way that correctly assesses value in a distributed fashion. And furthermore, that it is the free market that has the best chance and a track record of helping the poor.  They request that I correct this imbalance by giving an example that shows this and I have decided to comply.

Let us take the example of a family in Great Britain, the land of Adam Smith, during the enclosure period. The rich have used their control of the political process to seize the common lands and the small farmer can no longer use the commons as their traditional rights provided. They are of course impoverished and thrown off their farm. The husband and father is killed in a foreign war defending the privileges of the rich and the mother has to support the family by working in a mill for 16 hours a day 7 days a week.

But her child gets sick and will die without an operation she can not afford.

That is only fair of course, as only the rich should be able to get competent health care. The poor, who can not afford it, do not deserve to have decent health care because they do not have the money.  That is the way the pure free market works.

The owner of the mill comes to the rescue by offering to pay for the operation and save the life of her child if she will allow him to sodomize her many times and allow his friends to do so as well.

Now I wish to reprimand those readers of this blog who are jumping to conclusions that I mean that the wealthy here wish to literally sodomize our young working woman.  They may only wish to figuratively sodomize her.   You must rise above your base understanding of the world and think metaphorically, I implore you.

Getting back to our heartwarming parable about how the free market elevates the downtrodden, how will this working woman whose services are so sought after set the price for being sodomized by the rich? This is where the free market comes to the rescue. We can examine what impoverished women sell their bodies for based of course on supply and demand and the “special requests” such as our factory owner has. Then a fair price can be set by the free market, which is not distorted by inefficient government regulation, and society as a whole is made better by this efficient solution.

Thus this poor woman has received all the benefit that the free market has to offer the poor.

Clearly, we should set all our policies for society and make decisions on health care, employment, education, access to the political process, access to opportunity and so forth based on what the free market for services and products determines. I can not imagine that we would consider anything else given the obvious advantages this system naturally provides.