Republicans and Oral Sex

Sometime near the end of the Clinton administration, I was sitting in my apartment in New York reading about current politics and the world in the New York Times.  One more time, Congress was deadlocked and could not debate or make progress on any topic, other than one. The only topic the Republicans would permit the discussion of was oral sex, presumably the oral sex between Monica Lewinsky and President Clinton, a subject which was, in my opinion, none of their fucking business.

It was oral sex this and oral sex that.  It was blow job this and blow job that.  Oral sex.  Blow job. That is what Republicans wanted to discuss.  That and nothing else.

I want to propose to you why this was a logical thing for them to do.  There is a legal aphorism that goes like this: "When you have the facts, you pound the facts. When the law is on your side, you pound the law. And when you have neither, you pound the table".

My judgment was that the Republicans had no ideas on any of the important topics and issues that faced this country.  So, having utterly failed to be useful to the nation, all they could do was pound the so-called "character issue" of Bill Clinton.  In reality, the people without character were the Republican Congressman who put the country last and their politics first.  But they felt they had to do that, perhaps, because they had no good ideas on any other topic.

They had no ideas about the economy.  They had no ideas about how to help the poor.  They had no ideas about how to bring peace to the world.   They had no ideas about how to educate people about global climate change or what to do about global climate change if we could even agree it existed.  They had no ideas about how to improve regulation of Wall Street and the banks and prevent the financial meltdown their greed and stupidity was about to cause.  They had no idea on hundreds of other issues, big and small, facing our nation at that time.   

No ideas at all on any topic.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

All they wanted to do was to discuss oral sex, endlessly.

So, if I ever feel the need to discuss oral sex with a congressman, I know to call a Republican congressman. I would encourage you to do so as well.

But if you are concerned about any other issue facing America today, the Republicans are the last people you should call as they have nothing positive to contribute.