Totoro and the Absence of Traditional Story Structure

As anyone who has tried to finance a film knows, Hollywood has very clear ideas about what sort of film is marketable in this country. And very, very clear ideas of what sort of ANIMATED film makes money in this country. And since they are very specifically in that business to make money, they attach a lot of importance to these rules.

Among the rules are these: (a) an animated film will have frequent breaks with music for the small children in the audience, (b) an animated film will not be over a certain length, and (c) an animated film will rarely if ever have a female protagonist, and if it does, she shares center stage with a male protagonist. From there, Hollywood goes on and applies a number of other rules and requirements about story structure, most of these ae applicable to other types of films as well, and includes certain things about the types of conflict in the film, the pacing, the reversals, the climax, etc. Hollywood has a strong opinion on these matters. It is one reason so many Hollywood films seem the same, one giant robot or alien invasion after another. That is because they are the same at one level of abstraction.

My favorite animated film however follows none of those rules. It has no happy songs, it is much longer than average, and the protagonists are two little girls, one about three years old. It goes on from there in its eccentricity. It is not clear that there is a villain in the film, except perhaps whatever it is that is making their mother sick such that she must stay in a hospital. There is one homage to standard story structure: the climax of the film involves the youngest girl running away to see her mother, and the effort to find her.  This could be seen as a classic 3rd act rescue mission.

What's up in the scary attic?

The film did not do well at first in the Far East, where it was made. But eventually the toys got marketed and that fed back to the film until it became successful there. The film found no distribution in this country (1) until, unusually, a firm with no experience in this genre picked it up, added English subtitles and tried a theatrical release in N. America. I believe it did not do well, and the film disappeared, except to the few who knew of it and loved it, until Disney, at John Lasseter's urging, picked up all the films of this director and started marketing them in this country.

The director of course is Hayao Miyizaki and the film is My Neighbor Totoro (1988).

This is my corn and you are not going to take it from me

The company that attempted the distribution was Troma, a firm better known for making and distributing films such as "Surf Nazis Must Die" and "The Toxic Avenger". But in this case, they spent their own money bringing Totoro to the notice of Americans and, I think, lost their money. I happened to see it because my friend Chris Casady, owner of Roto Efx of America, had worked for Troma in the past and was invited to the screening at the DGA and invited me along.

I have excerpted my favorite scene from this film and put it at Youtube.  Well, I had put it on Youtube but it seems that someone is blocking it.  So you will have to review the pictures below, or of course, rent the video, which is what they want you to do which is fine with me.

Its an umbrella

On another occassion we will discuss the issues of trying to make a 3D character from one designed for 2D and review all the reasons that is hard, using two characters from this movie: the dust spirits and Totoro himself. Here are some images of these characters which I hope will set you thinking about why doing them in some sense in 3D (as in modelled in geometry) would be very difficult if you wanted to keep the essence and charm of the characters. And if you would not want to keep their charm, then why oh why would you even bother?

My Neighbor Totoro on IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096283/

Miyazaki on Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayao_Miyazaki

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1. Most animated films, indeed most films, made in the Far East never see formal distribution in this country or North America. There have been a few exceptions and some of them are quite notable, e.g. many Kurosawa films would find some independent distribution here. This is especially true for animation made in the Far East, where many of their best and most successful films traditionally never made it over here, except in a very limited form marketed directly to fans of the various genres.

By way of counterexample, Bruno Bozzetto's Allegro Non Troppo did get distribution of some sort in this country.  I am not sure how that happened, but that does show that it is possible.

Computer Graphics and the Doctrines of Original and Derivative Sin

[Substantially revised 2/19/2013]

Anyone who looks at the field of Computer Graphics and Animation today sees vast misery, incredible and increasing unemployment, despair and uncertainty. (3)  The political actions of other nations have made it impossible to do computer animation in this country and compete thus increasing the offshoring and outsourcing of 3D animation.  Our people are driven to the four corners of the earth;  parents are forced to work in slave-like conditions and separated from their families in order to earn what is barely a living, starving to increase the profits of the rich.   And the rich are very rich indeed, privileged and ruthless at maintaining their privileges and laugh at the misery of the poor.   Unemployment everywhere, despair everywhere, injustice everywhere.

Many years ago  I heard a talk by computer artist William Latham (1) in which he proposed that computer graphics imagery was different from other forms of imagery because, by its nature of being computed, it was thus free of the Original Sin, when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, eating from the forbidden tree of knowledge and then expelled from Paradise.

But since we are clearly not in Paradise, but are being punished daily, then it is likely that whether we are guilty of Original Sin or, even more likely, an unoriginal sin, a "derivative sin", but definitely a sin of one type or another, or so one might reasonably judge from the reality of the punishment that we are receiving. (7)

3D animators being laid off from a CG studio

Although this may seem superstitious to us, for large parts of history, people of all types believed in the concept of divine punishment so, for a moment, lets ask ourselves how people of the 1st Century AD might have looked at these things. How would they have perceived these disasters and calamities?

Ancient people believed that plagues, famines, war and so forth was God punishing a wicked people or evil nation for their sins.  They would look at a fallen meteor and see a sign from God that he or she was displeased.  They would look at our misery and say that God (or the Gods) were punishing us and that what we had to do was to ask ourselves in what way we have sinned, that we may sacrifice to the appropriate God(s), and change our ways, and repent.

If one were sincere, a number of cattle might be sacrificed, or if really sincere, in some cultures, a good human sacrifice or two was required.   (4)

So let us review the many ways that the field of Computer Animation has sinned.

First and foremost, 3D animation has utterly destroyed the commercial basis of the traditional arts of 2D animation and visual effects.   Thus we are so very guilty of putting many innocent and talented people out of work, forcing them to put down their pencil or their optical printer and get a job as a day laborer for slave wages.   You may call it progress, but I say that we caused a lot misery, however unintentionally.

What other sins are we guilty of?

Pride, arrogance, a failure to help our fellow biped, greed, indifference to poverty, to unfair practices, guilty of setting up and worshiping false gods, competitiveness without mercy, driven by self-interest, ignorance of our effects on the other arts, ignorance of our own history.  Not to mention the sins of making bad movies and creating very bad animation.

Without doubt, we are guilty of all of these.

And the Gods have responded to our wickedness by providing subsidies to foreign nations to uplift our enemies and cause great misery through divinely-sanctioned unfair trade practices!   Heaven has sent the Angels of Unemployment to strike down Sinners even as they type at their Workstations!

As a prophet of doom, I suggest that things will only get worse unless the people repent of their sins and return to the path of righteousness.

God only knows that our misery could not possibly be the result of our own actions, our failure to act, our cowardice, or the inevitable result of our own corrupt practices and stupidity.   It must be a result of divine displeasure.  Because if it was a result of playing it safe, of failing to protest foreign subsidies as a way of keeping quiet and "minding our own business" (2), of rewriting our own history whenever it was convenient to do so (or simply being ignorant of our own history), then we would have no one to blame but ourselves. If we are guilty of transferring our technology to foreign venues as a way of making a fast buck, then who is at fault other than us?   If we thought the studios that finance films cared about the computer animation community in this country, from whence their current riches originate, then that would be particularly stupid and indicate a complete failure to face reality of how these things work. No, the answer must not lie here, among ourselves, the answer must lie in the realm of divine displeasure.

I recommend sacrificing at least one goat or maybe two at once. (6)

Doctrine of Original Sin on Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_sin

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1.I http://www.nemeton.com/static/nemeton/axis-mutatis/latham.html

2. Ironically, of course, it is our business.  But it would mean making waves and possibly offending the rich and powerful.

3. Of course this does not apply to some people.  I believe, for example, that my friends at Pixar are treated quite well.   But if they could not work at Pixar for some reason, and were thus like the rest of us, and had to find employment outside of that special reality, they would very much not be happy.

4. Human sacrifice is in most cultures past whether or not they admit it.   But there was quite a diversity in how many humans, who they were (e.g. captured prisoners or citizens) and when they eliminated the practice.   Other than hating Christians, the Romans were tolerant of nearly everything among their multitudes of incorporated cultures other than human sacrifice.  They had no trouble with the death penalty, but that was completely different in their eyes from killing people for religious reasons which they considered barbaric.

5. Most Prophets of Doom are not volunteers, but claim to have been chosen by God more or less against their will.   Also prophets of doom normally do not make a good living but have to live as hermits in caves and so forth.  Much better to be a prophet of hope and joy if you want to make a profit, so to speak.

6. A little off topic, but the best political cartoon found on the topic of human sacrifice is:

7.  This is of course circular logic, and proudly so.

I Was a Limo Driver for Bruno Bozzetto

Once upon a time, back when I was a fan of animation, animation meant 2D animation for the most part.  Certainly not 3D animation. And in those days, perhaps 1977,  I used to attend various international animation film festivals, or at least, would see collections of animation from those festivals.  And although I was not working in animation (1), I was a member of ASIFA. I remember having posters about animation festivals from Zagreb and Sofia on my wall at RAND. People must have thought I used to go there to visit Soviet Intelligence and pass secrets or something.

As a member of ASIFA, I heard that Bruno Bozetto of Milan, Italy was coming to this country to speak at UC Santa Barbara and needed a ride from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara and back again.  As an alumnus of UCSB, and a fan of Mr. Bozzetto, I volunteered to be his escort both ways in my old, red, un-air-conditioned, Chevy Impala.

Mr. Bozzetto having his picture taken with his limo driver.  Just kidding!

This was a very long time ago. It must have been sometime between 1977 and 1978.  I am pretty sure his film Allegro non Troppo (1976) was out by then.  

I remember driving him both ways, I have an image of him in my head. I remember a few things from his talk. That he had a small animation studio in Milan, Italy, and that they mostly made a living doing commercials. I remember him describing a system whereby the Italian government would sponsor short animated films, but that one of the requirements was that they had to be about 11 minutes long no matter how well the idea fit into that length. These films showed as short subjects at movie theatres in front of the main feature, I think. Just like we used to do in this country in the early days of film.  I think he went on to say that this is how his film Allegro non Troppo got made.

A portion of Allegro non Troppo on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSEJC-cVPuA

An alien spacecraft litters an alien planet with a soda pop bottle and starts off a whole cascade of evolutionary doom.

Marching to their inevitable destruction!

I dropped him off at the end of a very long day somewhere in Los Angeles, said goodbye, and went home. I always wondered how he was but had no way to get in touch with him, and besides, I doubted that he remembered me.

Then one day, somehow, I saw his name on a post that Tom Sito, now a professor at USC, had done. So I gathered up my courage, and sent him a friend request

Bruno Bozzetto 3:59am Feb 14 Hi Michael! I remember your driving and my friend Roberto, the music composer, trying to tell you a joke in english:) Nice to hear you again!

Yea!

Mr. Bozzetto's Studio on the Internet
http://www.bozzetto.com/index.html

Allegro non Troppo at IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074121/

Article about Mr. Bozzetto in an Italian magazine (in English)

http://www.ecodibergamo.it/dossiers/Personaggi/18/43/

Bruno Bozzetto at IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0102547/

Allegro_Non_Troppo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegro_Non_Troppo

________________________________________

1. Of course essentially no one was working in 3D animation back then.

R&H Closing Causes Panic on Facebook

R&H closing has caused panic amongst the 3D bunnies. They have had jobs for 26 years while the rest of the field suffered, and now that it is their turn, the world is ending. In a sense it is. But we don't really know what is going on so I will find out and report back.

Updates:

2-13-2013 Late in the day, I had a long discussion with a friend who knows R&H well, the visual effects business well, John and Pauline well, etc.  I am still processing his information.   As I understand it, there is a good chance for R&H to emerge from this, but it is an unfortunate and complicated situation, and whatever happens, it does not look good for LA employment.  Thus in rebuilding, they are more likely to rebuild in, for example, Vancouver, than in LA.  Oddly, Vancouver is more expensive than LA, except for that 60% refund that the Canadian govt provides, of course.   The studios are doing their best to put R&H out of business through their stupidity, but that is nothing new.

2-13-2013 An unauthorized source at the local SIGGRAPH meeting reports talked to two former employees, and quite possibly misheard stuff, but that R&H has laid off 100 - 200 people, mostly older and more expensive people.   The source also speculates that it was the real estate acquisition in El Segundo that caused the problem of cash flow in part.   There is further speculation that R&H may not need more than 100 people in Los Angeles to manage their overseas work force.   This information was from the previous day, I just got it today.

2-12-2013 Late in the day, I read some Facebook posts by people complaining about being laid off after 26 years.   Oh, boo hoo. Welcome to the club, goddamnit.  It is clear that people do not really know what is going on and are spreading rumors.  They need to understand that this is understandable but dangerous.  By spreading rumors, you may be contributing to making a bad situation worse.

2-12-2013 Wall Street Journal article on R&H
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2013/02/12/oscar-nominated-life-of-pi-visual-effects-studio-to-file-for-bankruptcy/?KEYWORDS=rhythm++Hues

Archaeology of the Cold War: Espionage and Other Compromises of National Security (1975-2008)

Espionage and spying was one of the defining characteristics of the Cold War. It is easy to be nostalgic about the Cold War, of course. It was a time when America had a functioning economy, when the political system had not been destroyed, when we could still believe in the American Dream in one form or another.

It was a time of the Berlin Tunnel, of the silent war between nuclear submarines, of Mutual Assured Destruction, defections and moles, of spy satellites and science education, of sensor nets under the ocean built at vast expense but capable of hearing a whale at 2000 kilometers, or a door opening on a submarine while submerged.

Espionage and the secret service, some think, are the purest expression of the war between civilizations, fought by a nation's elite secret service that manifest the moral codes that define the opposing civilizations. This makes the secret service the first line of defense, the avant garde of the revolution, the keepers of the faith. They are the mujadeen, the soldiers of God who are willing to die for God.

The Defense Personnel Security Research Center in Monterey, CA, set out to write a report that summarized espionage and other breaches of national security in this nation in the last 30 years. It's goal was to provide a series of case studies for educators of security personnel. It provides good summaries of the different types of espionage cases that have been found and prosecuted in the modern period. It has been regularly updated, the latest version adds 20 more recent case studies up to 2008.

If, as mentioned above, the secret service represents people who are Defenders of the Faith and of the Faithful, then many of the people whose cases are summarized in this report are the Fallen, those who by their actions have fallen from Grace with God and are damned forever.

I have selected a few pages at random for your review and the URL for the full report is listed below. You could read it in its entirety, if you were of a mind to do so, in a few hours at most.

"Espionage and Other Compromises of National Security"

http://cryptome.org/2013/02/spy-cases-1975-2008.pdf

The Fall of Man
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_fall_from_grace

Relationship Between Grad School Acceptance and 6th Grade Clique Selection

[2.12.2013 complete rewrite]

As many of you know, I am applying to Graduate School in a futile effort to be accepted as an adult by society and in order to set the stage for a second act to my so-called career.   I have found the process to be very confusing, arbitrary and limiting thus far.

The impression I get is one of rigid rules and preconditions designed to winnow the applicants down to a small set of people who will act and obey as a ruling elite demand. And who have done nothing whatsoever but exactly those things they are looking for in the most conventional and unimaginative way.  "Those who are like us may apply but those who are not like us should not even attempt it.", they seem to be saying. (1)

It is not a new insight that situations in elementary and jr. high school prepare us for life as an adult by putting us through apparently incomprehensible and damaging social circumstances.   "Life is high school with money" goes the joke.  One example of such a situation is the "prom" nightmare many of us have had to go through.   Another is the weirdness of those who are accepted by a clique and those who are not.

Its been a long time since High School, however, and I was never very good at being accepted by cliques.    But I have come across a 6th grader on the Internet, by name of Hayley, who has two very interesting blogs that may enlighten me on this topic.  Her first blog is called "The Thoughts of an Almost Teenage Girl" and the second, "The Popularity Papers of 6th Grade", about her efforts to be accepted by an elite clique in her Elementary School in Minnesota.  (The URLs for both blogs are below).

So the plan is to monitor Hayley's blog and then report back how the process of getting accepted to graduate school is like or unlike the process of being accepted by a clique in 6th Grade.

Think of it as a research paper in Cultural Anthropology.

A spy vs spy comic I got from Hayley's general blog, demonstrating great taste in one so young.

The Thoughts of An Almost Teenage Girl

http://theteenagegirlthoughts.blogspot.com/

The Popularity Papers of 6th Grade

http://sixthgradepopularitypaper.blogspot.com/

___________________________________________

1. In particular, I have been advised not to apply to any top school because there is virtually no chance in hell that I will be accepted.  Thanks a lot, people, I appreciate your words of support!  But seriously, these people who give such advice are trying to help: by being realistic about the odds, one is more likely to be accepted to a school with good people that does not get the same deluge of applications that the so-called top schools get.

Which school is a top school is different in each field, but it should not surprise you to hear that, depending on the field, Harvard, Stanford, MIT, UC Berkeley, Oxbridge are on the list.  The point of the advice is that there are many other excellent schools in any field you care to name that are not one of the short list mentioned above.  And that is true.  The counterargument, however, is that America has always been elitist and it may only be those who attended the elite schools who will be offered a chance to participate later.

Ancient Computer Animation History on Facebook

A Facebook discussion brought up some technology that we developed at dWi, deGraf/Wahrman, Inc, and it sequed into a discussion of some of the talent and impact that we had. That was then, this is now. Nevertheless, it was a good opportunity to mention the following, repeated here, as Facebook is even more ephemeral than a blog.

Because there was so much misunderstanding in the aftermath of dWi, it is possible that the following was not made clear.  

I think that this is a good opportunity to thank everyone who was associated with deGraf/Wahrman for all their hard work. As far as I can tell, everyone who worked at dWi was amazingly talented and did incredible work under very difficult circumstances. Its hard to believe that we worked that hard in order to establish computer animation as useful for the entertainment industry, god only knows why we cared so much or why we thought we had to do our best work for clients who were, shall we say, not always appreciative of our genius. I am sorry we put people under so much pressure at the time, it was not intentional, it turned out that way. Perhaps things were a "little" out of control. You may not have been aware of how much pressure Brad and I were under.

I also think that judging by results, our alumni are without doubt very talented and did very well. Hopefully you will all continue to do well. Each of you has unique talents, remember who you are.

 I think that Jwalt's joke was a very good one, it would have been all that much better if we were actually that much more talented and collaborative that we thought that gag up as a deliberate comedy routine, that would have been truly impressive. People are so sensitive, you know.

I plan to document all of your contributions on my Blog, over the next few years, if all goes well.

Anyway, thanks again.

The Facebook discussion is here. I have no idea if you will be able to see it or not.

http://www.facebook.com/michael.wahrman/posts/283994975061964?comment_id=1233232

Great Performance Reviews in History: Lawrence of Arabia

Since employment and the search for employment seems to be on so many people's minds, I wish to share with you what I believe is one of the best "performance reviews" in film.  There are a few others, some more comical than this, but this is perhaps the best of the serious reviews.  It may even have some basis in fact.  That is less clear.

In this sequence, T. E. Lawrence, aka Lawrence of Arabia, has just come out of the desert and announced that he and the Arab Revolt have taken Aqaba. He is escorted into the presence of his commanding general, General Allenby, who is many levels above Lawrence's nominal chain of command.

Of course, this is from David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia (1962) starring Peter O'Toole as T. E. Lawrence. 

The sequence is here, until Youtube takes it down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CsUOYazQQU

 The Review

Allenby reviews his file, questions his actions, promotes him, and builds up his morale to motivate him to go back and continue his work. How many of us can say that we have had as well-informed and insightful a review, or one designed to help us do our best work?

Lawrence, who of course realizes he is being manipulated, tells Allenby to his face, "Youre a clever man, sir", and through his presentation makes it clear that he is accusing Allenby of doing something nasty by rewarding Lawrence and making him like it.   I don't know about you, but I think that is pretty funny.  

Allenby manipulates his employee by telling him he has done a good job, promoting him and buying him a drink.  What a tricky, low down thing to do!

As background on the film, many of the key plot points in the movie are historical.   Which is appalling when you think about it.   Of course any detail or dialogue or colorful incident at an oasis or whatnot is certainly fiction, at least to some degree.   I am not sure if Lawrence ever met Allenby or if Allenby invited him for a drink at the Officer's club.  I would tend to doubt it, but I do not know.  But I think that we can be certain that if they did meet, whatever they said to each other was different than what we see here.

The performance review:

Allenby: (reading from a file) Undisciplined .... Unpunctual ... Untidy ... Several languages,

knowledge of music, literature, knowledge of ... , knowledge of ... You're an interesting

man, there is no doubt about it. Who told you to take Aqaba?

Lawrence: Nobody.

Allenby: Sir.

Lawrence: Sir.

Allenby: Then why did you?

Lawrence: Aqaba is important.

Allenby: Why is it important?

Lawrence: Its the Turkish route to the canal.

Allenby: Not anymore, they're coming through Bathsheba.

Lawrence: But we've gone forward to Gaza.

Alleny: So?

Lawrence: So, that left Aqaba behind your right.

Allenby: True.

Lawrence: And it will be further behind your right when you go for Jerusalem.

Allenby: Am I going for Jerusalem?

Lawrence: Yes.

Allenby: Very well, Aqaba behind my right.

Lawrence: It threatened El Harish and Gaza.

Allenby: Anything else?

Lawrence: Yes, Aqaba is linked with Medina.

Allenby: Do you think we should shift them out of Medina now?

Lawrence: No, I think you should leave them there.

Allenby: You acted without orders you know.

Lawrence: Shouldn't officers use their initiative at all times?

Allenby: Not really. Its awfully dangerous, Lawrence.

Lawrence: Yes, I know.

Allenby: Already?

Lawrence: Yes.

Allenby: I'm promoting you Major.

Lawrence: I don't think that's a very good idea.

Allenby: I didn't ask you. I want you to go back and carry on the good work.

Lawrence: No, thank you, sir.

For those who are interested, the scene where Allenby announces Lawrence's promotion at the Officer's club is here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=0VGBDYeEAVk

See also:

The Arab Revolt

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arab_Revolt

General Allenby, 1st Viscount Allenby

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Allenby,_1st_Viscount_Allenby

Thomas Edward Lawrence

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._E._Lawrence

Lawrence of Arabia (1962) on IMDB

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056172/

Real Time Programmable Shaders and Me

[or is it "... and I" ?]

As part of my Solari Sign simulation, I am working through more of the learning curve on Open GL shader language, e.g. GLSL or programmable shaders.

It is pretty cool but it sure is awkward.

There is a list of things you have to get through that are arcane in the extreme before you can do basic programmable shaders: compiling, linking and running shaders, creating and setting uniform variables, creating and using texture maps, figuring out the relationship between traditional Open GL and the new programmable shader paradigm, and so forth. As with so many things in Open GL, going from the documentation to real applications is not well documented or self-explantory. The list goes on and on, and when you need to add a new feature, you have to be prepared to dive into the bits for days before you emerge.

But once you build up an infrastructure to make these things manageable, then it is a lot like writing shaders in Renderman circa 1988, but in real time.

And real time is fun.

For example, out of frustration with an object that was relentlessly invisible no matter what I did, I mapped a texture map variable I had been calculating left over from a previous test. To my amazement, I picked up the texture map from the last digit of a digital clock I had running on the display. Only in this case it was mapped on an object that filled the screen, and it was changing every second.

Its soft because the preloaded texture maps are 128x128 but that could be easily fixed. 

Anyway, I think NVIDIA or someone should do the following:

1. Document the relationship between Open GL and GLSL with modern examples.

2. Write and document a toolkit, maybe libglsl, that lets one do basic GLSL functionality at a slightly higher level.  If no one else has done it, I may do it.

         Such things as: read shaders from disk and compile into a program, defining and setting

         uniform variables, loading and enabling texture maps, etc.

3. Create a good implementation of noise, classic or simplex, and make it available.

        There is an implementation of noise that looks very good online, but it is 10 pages of

        code and its days of work to transfer it to your program. That is less work than it would

        be if you had to write it from scratch.

As for using real time graphics for work directly in motion picture filmmaking, in other words, as final footage, that will only work for certain kinds of graphics.  For visual effects and most final animation such things as advanced filtering, motion blur and global illumination is either required or highly desirable.

For a very low budget film of course, anything is possible.

Villains! Enemies of the People! Stop Driving Blue Pickup Trucks!

[2.12.2013  We do not know at this point how crazy Dorner is and how unjust, if it was unjust at all, was the procedure that got him fired from the LAPD.   But on the surface of things, it looks like another example of the LAPD punishing someone who tries to make them live up to their promise to clean up their overt racism and violence.  If my post is unfair, should we decide that to be true later when we know the facts, trust me when I say that the history of the LAPD makes it a perfectly good conclusion to jump to.  The LAPD has earned its reputation.]

We want to loudly and firmly announce support for our LAPD in these bleak hours when, in our defense, these stern defenders of the peace go on another rampage shooting anyone in a blue pickup truck.

If I were you, I would park that blue pickup truck right now, and walk away. Otherwise, you might be shot, and so you should be, you wretched blue-pickup-truck-driving villain!

The enemy

One of the pillars of Los Angeles is the Los Angeles Police Department, the LAPD, whose motto is "To Protect and Serve".  These selfless and upright public servants protect Los Angeles from the forces of crime and racial equality, placing themselves bodily between us good folk and the nasty bad people out there.

Today they are under immense pressure because of a challenge made by a former member of the LAPD who has sworn revenge against the noble LAPD.

The hunt to destroy blue pickup trucks began when a former LAPD officer was fired for the gross offense of reporting that a superior had brutally and sadistically beaten an innocent and mentally-challenged person. Of course he was fired!   How dare he denounce a member of our famously humane LAPD? This is Los Angeles after all, and in Los Angeles, the LAPD can beat the shit out of anyone with impunity as has been demonstrated time and again.

Our former officer, who is suspected of murdering his ex-girl friend and her fiancee, has sworn to get even, and drives a blue pickup truck. The LAPD has sensibly and reasonably responded to this challenge by going on a rampage and is even now shooting wildly with assault weapons (2) at anyone with a blue pickup truck.

Lets remember what Los Angeles stands for. It stands for crime, criminality, hypocrisy and the exploitation of the poor in the service of the rich. Los Angeles and crime go hand and hand.

With the possible exception of the Aerospace industry, all the major industries in Los Angeles were founded on crime. (1)

Consider a few highpoints of this notable history. The motion picture industry moving here to be able to more easily evade the Edison patents. The agricultural and garment industries based on illegal labor. The theft of water and political fraud for real estate development. The music industry (need I say more). The Construction industry. Import-export and the turn-of-the-century opium trade. Chinese slave labor and the building of the railroads. The destruction of the mass transit system. The oil industry. The porn industry. The consistent rumor that the Heidi Fleiss affair was caused by Sony Columbia refusing to pay their annual $1M bribe to the head of the LAPD. The Rodney King riots which were caused by the video of the LAPD beating the shit out of Mr. King as he lay prostrate on the ground, defenseless.

These are the things that Los Angeles stands for.

We at Global Wahrman support the LAPD in its efforts to suppress crime and call upon on all evil-doers to stop driving their blue pickup trucks at once!

Los Angeles Police Department Home Page

http://www.lapdonline.org/
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1. The author wishes to acknowledge that many cities may have been founded by criminals.  Also that criminality is sometimes a matter of point of view.  After all, New Amsterdam became New York because the British Navy stole it from the Dutch, to give one example.

2. A friend gave me a hard time over my use of the term "assault rifle".  He is correct to do so, as assault rifle is really a marketing term, not a technical one.   But the fact is that the only people who make that distinction today are people who are opposed to any kind of gun control.  So, to hell with you, we need gun control in this country.  I think "assault rifle" is a fine term to use in this case.