Saturday, March 14, 2020

Michael and the Saxophone of St. Timothy

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I know you will find the following story hard to believe but I swear every word of it is true. I am of course oversimplifying since what had occurred is not spelled out well in our sources but I am loathe to elaborate freely. Many decades ago, a young boy tried to learn three musical instruments and failed at all three. The first was a cheap recorder which he had bought at a gift shop and which made plausible pleasant noises but nothing coherent. The second was his brothers 1959 Fender Stratocaster with which he could make chord changes and even some version of the rhythm accompaniment of some songs but it mutilated his fingers and he stopped. But the third was the most frustrating and confusing. It was his brother's clarinet and all he could ever do was to have it make horrible squeaking noises. The young boy was crushed and knew he was a complete failure and withdrew from society and lived in total isolation in the horrible wilderness in N San Diego County. But one day, many decades later, he took a very rare trip to the north and staying at the house of his friend Tom, a house filled with music, he happened to mention to his friend that he could never figure out how to play a reed instrument. One of the sons of the family overheard him and being a trained musician and filled with the spirit of hospitality, undertook, on his own initiative and at his own expense, to show the visitor whom he had never before met or even heard of, how to play a reed instrument, an antique saxophone. To the hermit's astonishment he was able to, with the instruction of his friend's son, immediately make plausible if unrefined saxophone sounds. This so amazed him that his depression and sense of failure dropped visibly from his shoulders like some great winter coat and he was inspired to go out into the world and help many of the poor and downtrodden. His name was Michael and as you may have guessed this is the origin of our famous story that every child knows, "Michael and the Saxophone of St. Timothy". I swear every word of this is true, so help me God.

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