Saturday, July 1, 2017

Who Shall Pass or Fail the Test?


In another post, see here, I described a test I was playing on various friends and acquaintances.

For those of you who wonder how to pass the test, and need a cheat sheet, here is a short list of some of the answers, any one of which will suffice to pass the test:

Express concern and ask how you can help.
Offer to buy lunch or loan your friend $100
Suggest a friend you know who might need someone of his skills (i.e. to get a job).
Offer to pay for something that might help (e.g. internet access or a phone bill or water bill).
Offer him or her a place to stay for a week or a month.
Offer to drive him or her somewhere.
Offer to introduce him or her to someone who might be able to help (e.g. get into school, get a part time job, whatever).
Make them feel welcome or in some way try to lesson the shame when you do any of the above on behalf of your friend.

Things you can do to automatically fail the test include:

Say you dont have the time to hear this right now.
Offer to have them committed for their own good.
Insult them.
Tell them to fuck off.
Make fun of them either to their face or behind their back (they will always know, trust me).
Fail to offer to help them get a job even though they know you have done that for others.

None of these lists are exhaustive.

[It saddens me to report that this test, which has in fact been in progress for several years has been passed by only a few people.  There are a few themes that I have noticed, in particular that some people who I have been in relationships with are particularly uncaring, but I guess that is not a total surprise even if it is a disappointment.  Others, it turns out, who in some sense truly owe me nothing, if anything one might say that I owe them for their courtesy to me over the years and their contributions to my life however accidental, have turned out to be very generous.  This is hardly an observation that will be new to the careful observer of mammalian biped behavior]

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