A Conspiracy Theory about the Panama Papers

What is great about conspiracy theories is that they do not have to be motivated by mere facts. After all, the point of a conspiracy is that a cabal is actively hiding the truth so all right-minded citizens are forced to speculate. Its their own damn fault for lying to us so often, right?

The art of creating a vibrant conspiracy theory is to weave events that are believed to have happened into a narrative that purports to explain why and how it happened. Sometimes events are invented or enhanced to enrich the process. Often bogus analysis and interpretation is required to make a conspiracy theory plausible, except of course it doesn't make it plausible at all, but merely exposes the credulity or borderline insanity of the audience. The best conspiracy theories do not open themselves up to magical thinking, at least not so much.

This post proposes that there is some basis for attributing a lovely conspiracy behind the Panama Papers leak that is causing such havoc in the world today.

And what havoc it is creating! We have one prime minister resigned already, and red faces in many parts of the world. That stalwart upholder of freedom and truth, the People's Republic of China, is madly trying to suppress the information that reveals so many Chinese in the government had these off-shore accounts. Russia is even saying that this is all a plot to besmirch Putin.

So without further ado, here is my take on the events, starting many years ago.

In part one of the story, various intelligence agencies of the West, possibly on their own or in cooperation with the intelligence agencies of other allied countries, run operations against aspects of the banking and legal infrastructure of off-shore accounts. They do this in order to try and identify and compromise the activities of other countries that use such accounts for their own covert activities including the financing of terrorist activities, arms purchases, and other operations. Thus, law firms such as the now famous, or infamous, Mossack Fonseca, are the target of operations by the western intelligence agencies.

As a result of analyzing this intelligence, it is of course noticed that various criminal activities, such as the illegal diversion of government funds, narcotics, and tax avoidance are also exposed. But as always, there are real barriers to using this information in domestic law enforcement as the source of the intelligence would have to be exposed.

In part two of the story, the United States and other countries are the victims of some very serious provocations, often behind the scenes but not entirely. Whatever is happening in Ukraine, and whatever happened in Crimea, there is every reason to think Russia is being proactive here behind the scenes. An even better example is the People's Republic of China who, if one can believe what one hears, has executed the largest intelligence operations in the history of the world outside of wartime in their “advanced persistent attacks” against American domestic and military targets. In other words, the PRC waged undeclared war against us, stole an incredible amount of military and other information, and then blandly denied it to our face.

In part three of our story, some part of the intelligence infrastructure, or the administration, notes that various leading members of the governments that are being so annoying have also violated their own laws by having these off-shore accounts for their own personal gain. They have thus made themselves vulnerable to attacks or blackmail of one form or another, perhaps thinking that they are protected because the “Western democracies” never inconveniences the rich of the world. And while that is true, it is possible that a special exception will be made for the leaders of some countries who have really gone out of their way to be annoying.

In part four of our story, the intelligence community of the country or countries try to come up with a way to use this information without having to admit that they have in fact spied on these law firms not to mention the various banking industries of certain nations who are guilty as hell. And it is noted that the world's fourth estate is unbelievably credulous and romantic about the so-called “individual whistle blower” who is acting out of a desire to help the world, or so the press believes.

Thus, the narrative goes, instead of releasing all the information collected from various law firms, banks, and so forth, it is proposed to leak the information of one particularly interesting law firm, and pretend that it came from an individual who, of course, must remain anonymous.  In this way, no one doubts the information the way they would if it came from our government, and even better, we don't have to pay for the analysis which no one would believe anyway. Instead we get hundreds of journalists on someone else's payroll to rake through the muck, having previously checked to see that there is nothing *too* embarrassing to us before it is released. In other words, some Americans and other westerners will be exposed here, but nothing too serious.

Thus I am proposing that one possible explanation for this unprecedented compromise of the great international industry of hiding money had nothing whatsoever with a lone whistle blower at all.

It is made all the more delicious as none other than that narcissistic keeper-of-the-truth, Ed Snowden, is acclaiming this leak and calling on various heads of state to resign.  How wonderful if it were to turn out not to be an individual leaker at all, but none other than the US Intelligence Community?

Sadly as time goes by and more and more prime ministers of the Western nations are forced to resign, this theory becomes more and more unlikely.  Which is a shame.  Perhaps, if it were true, it would merely be an example of "unintended consequences"?   Perhaps there is an intelligence agency somewhere with egg on its face?  Or perhaps it will turn out that this agency was in fact manipulated by the Bavarian Illuminati which stands behind and manipulates all such things? What is great about conspiracy theories is that you never know.