Friday, March 18, 2016

Will Sex Workers Rush to Silicon Valley to be Sodomized?

Concerns have been expressed that one result of the law suit against Michael Goguen of Sequoia Capital may be a glut in the availability of aspiring sex workers and entrepreneurs trying to cash in on the extravagant prices paid by senior executives in Silicon Valley for sexual services. As the news of the $10M fee received by litigant Amber Baptiste for sodomic services has spread worldwide it has resulted in many new and current sex workers announcing their intent to move to the area. Ms Babtiste is suing Mr Goguen for failure to pay the remaining $30M of her agreed upon fee of $40M.

Sex workers both self-employed and those held in slavery expressed admiration for Ms Baptiste for her lawsuit and for actually receiving the first $10M. “People all over the world get butt fucked for a dollar but Amber got 10 million! She is my hero” said one sex worker who wants to remain anonymous because she is currently an underage sex slave in a middle-eastern country.

Others expressed concern that a sudden influx of sex workers from all over the world to Silicon Valley offering to be sodomized might depress the market. “We dont want them here, they should stay home and get fucked there” said Gloria Standfast, a prominent Silicon Valley sex worker and industry advocate.

Although controversy surrounds the lawsuit everyone that this reporter talked to seemed of the opinion that Ms. Baptiste got a pretty good deal. “Lots of people get fucked up the butt by venture capitalists, but not all of them get as well paid as Ms Baptiste” said one entrepreneur at the Game Developer Conference.

“This is the kind of behavior that made America great and it shows how the free market works to help ordinary workers” said Rep Nelson Freeport (R-CA).

For more information on the relationship between Mr. Goguen and Ms. Babtiste, click here.

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