Tuesday, January 31, 2023

The Tragic Kingdom in 2023

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This is a report on the current status of the Disneyland Park (and to a lesser degree the Disneyland Resort) from a visit on January 25, 2023.  My partner in this adventure was Jill Fraser.  There is a lot to go over here from the lowest levels to the highest.  Jimini Crickett said to emphasize the positive but this review will have some negative as well.  Its up to you what order to read it in.  Topics will include the trivial (food at the Magic Kingdom), to the highest levels of aesthetics in theme parks, including the new Star Wars land and the dismaying decay and abandonment of Tomorrowland.

1. Timing and pricing.  We chose to go on a Wednesday when school is in session and the weather is cold(er).  For these days, Disney lowers prices for each park to $104/person but the park also closes earlier and does not have its big shows.  Everything else seems to be there.

2. The food was dreadful and expensive.  As bad as I have ever had there.  I recommend you pack some trail mix, eat like you were backpacking, rehydrate regularly and then eat something better when you get home or leave the park.

3. Perhaps the highlight of the park was, for me, three so-called cast members.  We had Xavier at the Magic Store on Main Street, some unknown people at the Penny Arcade and best of all "Mike" at one of the Adventureland emporia across from the Jungle Cruise.  Xavier demonstrated what could be done with the trimmed cards.  I asked Mike if they still had the shrunken heads you used to be able to find there.  He not only knew what I was talking about, he was able to remind me of the old Jungle Cruise exhibit/joke in which a Witch Doctor wants to trade two of his heads for one of yours.  I loved this guy and plan to look for him again the next time I am at the park.  Its the people who matter.

4. I am also happy to say that the Magic Shop and Mickey's theatre on Main Street are both there.

5. But what happened to the horse drawn carriages on Main Street?  And even if you get rid of them, you should replace them with "in period" motor driven vehicles.  Dont just drop transportation.  Not everyone wants to walk the 200 - 300 yards distance from the entrance to the castle.

6. That castle is looking a little small in context with everything else, maybe it is time to refurbish and enlarge it.

7. The new Star Wars land is spectacular.  It is very large, where did all that land come from?  The two main attractions are both amazing and I am curious to know how they pulled off some of those things.  No I could not figure out what our guides were saying most of the time, but that was OK.  

 


 

8. Genie Plus was worthwhile occassionally. But we had to pay an extra $25/person to get the "Lightning Line" feature at Rise of the Rebellion.  We felt that they were being overly greedy.

9. The food was a disaster.  Bring your own food.  Oh did I mention that before.

10.  Getting hooked up with the app was painful.  

11. Tomorrowland was a sad wreck of a land, once so filled with promise and optimism, now fallen into decay, a parody of itself.  The Carousel of Progress is a gigantic wreck in the middle of everything.  The decayed PeopleMover just has its track laid like pointless linguini on the land with the obnoxious wreck of what used to be a peoplemover terminal rusting in the middle.  One of the main attractions, the CircleVision 360 film about America is now a trivial shoot em up with several Pixar characters.  This is fun but very, very minor.  Where is the vision?  None to be seen.


Carousel of Failure


The Former People Mover

12.  The Tiki Room was as enchanted as ever and they should just keep it.  But the Jungle Cruise!? Forget about it, tear it down and do something else with it.



13. I always wanted to check if the entrances to back stage were really hidden in plain sight, and yes they were.  How amusing.



 
14. Perhaps the biggest failure is the disastrous parking system.  Really, Disneyland?  You want to make customers walk a mile or two after parking and wait for trams while trying to go to your park?  This is the best you can do?
 
15. I think it would be worthwhile to use one of these discount days to go to California Adventure.  Bring  your own food, etc. 


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