draft
The
new year comes and the new year goes.
The
thief reminds Brian to always look on the bright side of life.
Let
us embrace our negativity and be positive about it so we can have the
very best negative attitude of anyone.
First,
on the positive side, although the Ken Perlin project is over, it was
very educational and left a little money in the bank. Working with
Dr. Perlin is like some sort of therapy process: the man is
astoundingly productive and high energy. As a side effect of this
project, I picked up a dozen or more skills that no doubt will be
useful in one way or another.
Second,
this blog is coming along although I would wish to have written more
on certain topics that will contribute to a book or two being
planned, especially the one based on the course I taught at NYU on
the history of visual effects. I am not altogether sure who reads my
blog, but apparently some people do and I appreciate it.
Third,
my health is stable, and all I need is money and a lot more energy
to engineer my way through the corrupt and insane system the medical
community and our government has put in place. Can one really
manage this fucked up system and do a normal job? Probably a moot
point because I am unlikely to be given a normal job anytime in the
next 2 or 3 hundred thousand years.
Fourth,
I think I am making a tremendous amount of progress in managing my
anger. I am in touch with my feelings and I am perfectly ok with my
anger and really dont care when people get upset because I express my
opinion. Its cool with me.
Fifth,
I have a number of friends who are doing very well in life and their
career, and while it is not enough to live vicariously through them,
it is certainly great to see.
On
the downside we have some of the following: (a) three friends passed
away and two more are struggling with serious health issues, and
those are just the ones I know about, (b) I am disgusted with the
hypocrisy and lies in our country, our government, and our world.
(c) Given my financial status, I see absolutely no way to achieve
anything like my potential in this world and this affects my ability
to plan and act. I was much more productive when I was disconnected
from reality.
There
is some progress in the world, even if it is minor. The support
given to Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren is intriguing, even if I
am cynical about what effect it has. The level of corruption of our
local police and government, the way it exalts the rich and enslaves
the poor, our hypocrisy and our impotence to change the system, disgusts me.
It
makes one wonder if people were just lying when you were growing up
and told you things, or if they were lying to themselves. Probably
some of both, but mostly I think the people at the top were just
lying.
None
of the new technology matters if you are so poor you can not work
with it. None of these new fields matter if you do not have the
resources to participate.
I
hope that you will have a wonderful new year and enjoy yourself in
the time you have left. I hope you will keep reading my blog from
time to time.
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