For Those of You Attending the Academy Awards

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For those of you who are attending the awards tonight, I have compiled a short list of things to remember to help make everyone's experience more rewarding. 

First, remember to wave at your fans as you get out of your car. They have waited since last night to get a glimpse of you. Second, dont walk too fast down the red carpet, you want the best chance possible for the TV cameras to linger on you. Third, its never a problem to get a date to the Academy Awards (tm) but think carefully about whether the person you choose will send the correct optic to those who are in a position to help your career. Fourth, as men get older, they are advised to either grow a beard or go clean shaven. The unshaven look just looks disreputable over a certain age. Fifth, and finally, on the one hand you should remember to thank the little people when you pick up an award, but dont overdo it as that would be tiresome. 

Good luck tonight!