draft
In
another post, see here, I
described a test I was playing on various friends and acquaintances.
For
those of you who wonder how to pass the test, and need a cheat sheet,
here is a short list of some of the answers, any one of
which will suffice to pass the test:
Express
concern and ask how you can help.
Offer
to buy lunch or loan your friend $100
Suggest
a friend you know who might need someone of his skills (i.e. to get a
job).
Offer
to pay for something that might help (e.g. internet access or a phone
bill or water bill).
Offer
him or her a place to stay for a week or a month.
Offer
to drive him or her somewhere.
Offer
to introduce him or her to someone who might be able to help (e.g.
get into school, get a part time job, whatever).
Make
them feel welcome or in some way try to lesson the shame when you do
any of the above on behalf of your friend.
Things
you can do to automatically fail the test include:
Say
you dont have the time to hear this right now.
Offer
to have them committed for their own good.
Insult
them.
Tell
them to fuck off.
Make
fun of them either to their face or behind their back (they will
always know, trust me).
Fail
to offer to help them get a job even though they know you have done
that for others.
None
of these lists are exhaustive.
[It saddens me to report that this test, which has in fact been in progress for several years has been passed by only a few people. There are a few themes that I have noticed, in particular that some people who I have been in relationships with are particularly uncaring, but I guess that is not a total surprise even if it is a disappointment. Others, it turns out, who in some sense truly owe me nothing, if anything one might say that I owe them for their courtesy to me over the years and their contributions to my life however accidental, have turned out to be very generous. This is hardly an observation that will be new to the careful observer of mammalian biped behavior]
[It saddens me to report that this test, which has in fact been in progress for several years has been passed by only a few people. There are a few themes that I have noticed, in particular that some people who I have been in relationships with are particularly uncaring, but I guess that is not a total surprise even if it is a disappointment. Others, it turns out, who in some sense truly owe me nothing, if anything one might say that I owe them for their courtesy to me over the years and their contributions to my life however accidental, have turned out to be very generous. This is hardly an observation that will be new to the careful observer of mammalian biped behavior]
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